"To see a thing uncolored by one's own personal preferences and desires is to see it in it's own pristine simplicity" ~Bruce Lee

A dear friend recently asked me how i came into the wisdom and insight that i now posess. The following is what I shared with her. But I think anyone could find this helpful and enlightening. I remember back  to when I first found yoga, God and myself again through it all. Or yoga found me as I wandered broken, alone and afraid. But awakening at last and open to what life held for me in the summer of 2007. As my old 'life' ended and i moved from 'why me?' to 'hell yes!' to a fuller life!


As the downward spiral continued. But you know something, it was a time of liberation for me...and believe me, it was long overdue!!! Is that bad? Calling divorce for example liberation? Not really, im not saying it out of spite. It was simply inevitable and freeing for me, not to be part of a parody if you will. Cant live half alive (at most) living a lie so yah, it was all good! And by that time, it was simply too much anyway, far too much...too much pain, too much regret, too many broken promises and vows, too many knives in my back, too many sleepless nights, soaked in my tears like a baptism of my pain. Too many thorns in my heart, feeling pain as a thousand needles swimming in my stomach. Too many moments of cursing her and the day I met her. And for how long could I participate in the insanity, her insanity? The price was pain consuming my soul..so I wanted it back , I wanted to live!! I wanted to be accepted, to love myself again, to be free of all the lies and bullshit cause I felt neck deep in it. To be secure in myself and happy, content. I just came to realize that I was on a very different path from her. And ironically enough, the closer I got to being finally at peace and feeling at one with spirit that I simply grew farther from her and from my former church! Wich doesnt mean I just gave up, cause she divorced me. But the point is I finally learned to not be so much obsessed with appearances, what others thought, what the church said and what she did...but to simply be broken open into newfound awareness.

"If you are not willing, you cannot open. Become willing and all possibility unfolds before you." ~Baron Baptiste

Yup, a new open willingness came to be through sober revelation and clarity of mind and purpose and it was refreshing far beyond word's...ya feel me? I found the beauty that lay within me, a new path. and I was feared and resented for it! I came to see how I was content to step out of my comfort zones(misery) and think outside the box.. and I came to see how threatend she was by it and how much she resented that!! I paid a heavy price for my self discovery, self love and joy in life...and it was actually totally worth it! I would'nt trade it for ANYTHING!! Just like the hell I went through shaped me into someone capable of writing this. Healing you and other's with my word's and my compassion. The long road is also the hardest and yet the most rewarding.

It can never be good if one does not stay true to themself and say enough is enough when it is. I had finally reached my breaking point in my marriage and my life..sometimes you need such a wake up call that you need to be shattered awake! To come to realize that it's not a punishment (as much as it hurt's) cause being broken test's and reveal's us to ourselve's in a way NOTHING else can! And we are never the same afterward's, changing, growing and expanding for the better. But it can be hard because one day or one moment you're living (happily or not) and then the life you're used to is gone! You find yourself on your knees and you look up...and suddenly, everything seem's to have changed. It feel's like being abducted in a way, to another place and time. But also safely carried through divine intervention to a better place, a better life.

As I was, before the breaking of my world. This is my destiny. Knowing fully it's not what your past did to you but what you do NOW that counts. When you simply, patiently let life unfold before you and surrender 'my way' you then see things as they really are, not as you wish they were. Thus becoming present to what you can change. Letting go of self limiting beliefs and what no longer serves you. Then you understand awakening. I call myself a peaceful warrior cause the battles on the inside, for peace, love and happiness. Not through the vanity of ego but through self realization.

But then I was finally at a place to question and find the answer's about my life, my core values, my belief's, my relationship's, faith, the meaning of life..I had finally arrived from denial into awakening, and I have'nt looked back! To find courage to inevitably face the difficult but liberating truth: that is ok to lose whats familiar cause something far better will come along. Its okay to let go of whats familiar cause we will find something thats worth truly holding onto. That its okay to hurt and dissapoint others if that means making peace with God and ourselves. At the end of the day you are the only one that will have to live forever with the choices you make, good or bad. That its okay to let go of things we cant even name sometimes.

And quite often though as I sit there on my yoga mat in quiet introspection I find a way to own and name my pain that's been there for year's, lingering. Then I open up my body more in my practice and the pain leaves on it's own. Because miraculously thing's are seen in their own simplicity and enlightenment comes when you stop chasing it, thus bringing healing and hope.

So I ask you beloved, where do you want to go in life today? Do you need to find courage to let go of dead weight and start your own personal revolution ? Have faith and never give up! I know you have it in you and Im right there with you....be blessed!

Namaste

Exploring whats possible

 Liquid bliss,sweatpouring as a thousand tear's releasing this angst and pain. Breathing, expanding radiating chi through every pore. The art of staying in the moment to overcome the fear's of my full potential. Sweet intensity of my body doing the 'impossible'.

Were all given chances in life to do more, to be more. To reach beyond our fear's, to see what others's cannot. I dont do yoga to simply be in better shape, for exercise or to boost my ego. It's not so much about the external, but the internal. I do yoga to reach far deep within to see past the self- doubt and the lies of others's that im not good enough. I am there to use my mind and my body in a way that most people would never have the courage to. To see how far my courage and vision can take me.

To shed all the pain and all the other bullshit that are simply illusion' s of my past, surrendering to what tomorrow offer's. To die is to live....

The answer is the mystery?

"The answer is never the answer. What's really interesting is the mystery. If you seek the mystery instead of the answer, you'll always be seeking. I've never seen anybody really find the answer -- they think they have, so they stop thinking. But the job is to seek mystery, evoke mystery, plant a garden in which strange plants grow and mysteries bloom. The need for mystery is greater than the need for an answer.” -Ken Kesey




Indeed. In order to grow, in ALL areas of your life you must not be stagnant, satisfied with answer's of other 's that never change, year after year...when people stop exploring they simply die inside. Sadly, we all know people like this 


So i invite you today...question everything that hold's you back today. But then dare to have faith and hope again. And believe me, im right there with you. Then you have a vision and passion to put it into action.


'Cause basically there's only two kind's of people, talker's and doer's. The talker's, yah you know them . all they do is talk and complain to you , never accomplishing much and want to drag you down too by telling you you cant achieve much of significance..this is out of fear and control.


Then there's the doer's those who know the simple yet profound truth: wisdom is simply taking action on what knowledge you already posess and being open to how life unfold's before them, seeing  life's mysteries without end for appreciation of them! They never waste time being satisfied or complaceent in their own knowledge either, 'cause they know life is simply meant to be lived in forward action, not fully understood.
If you think for a while im willing to bet that the people that made the most memorable impact on your life were doer's. So wich one will you be??

Letting go is part of the path to liberation

Theres comes a point in our life when you realize who matters, who never did, who won't anymore and who always wil. So don't worry about people from your past. There is a reason why they didn't make it to your future.....


Find peace and contentment in your life today. Dont sit around wishing harm on those who hurt you or revenge. Because ultimately you only       
hurt yourself, because you're giving someone power over you that they dont deserve. And were all part of the same experience on this planet. Meaning that you we all share the same energy, both good and bad. You reap what you sow.
If you sow anger,bitterness, resentment  and pain you will be stuck in that until you see the folly of your way's. I speak from experience! Of course you have a right to be bitter and pissed of indefinately, but why?? All your achieving is inviting negative, poisonous energy. This cut's you off from your source of love and peaceful energy. Your intuitive mind know's this is harmful, do you have the courage to listen to it?
Your energy will be blocked, your mind, body and soul will all suffer manifested in sickness, stress and anxiety. 
Bruce Lee once said that the fist is not a weapon against your opponent, but against yourself. Meaning that through self discipline you overcome greed, anger, seflishness etc. All product's of the ego that block your energy and trap you in fear. And all negativity is based in fear and ignorance, only to keep you trapped in the lie that your bad thought's and failure's define you.
You might think that your body is solid mass, but it's not. It's made out of cell's bound together. Comprised of molecules, comprised of atom's and by electron's. At it's most  basic but dynamic level, you are pure energy. Quantum physic's confirm's this. You are a spiritual being learning how to overcome the illusion's that you are seperated from your higher self, from your friend's and family. Even from those who hurt you. We all effect each other on a deeper, metaphysical level, whether we know it or not! 
Next time you step onto your yoga mat know that you can cultivate a deeper awareness of the truth about yourself and how your practice of well being through self awareness can carry into all aspect's of your life. The ego may try to keep you off your mat, that's because it want's to hide from the light of your awareness that can come out through your practice that's rooted in patience and well being.
Yoga is a tool to help you cut to the root of your mind, to get past the illusion's of your lower self as you find truth and peace. 
God help's those who help's themselve's. You are the one you've been waiting for because only you can step out in faith into your own journey, an inward and outward  journey into power.......

What's your focus?

"All that we are is the result of what we have thought. If a man speaks or acts with an evil thought, pain follows him. If a man speaks or acts with a pure thought, happiness follows him, like a shadow that never leaves him." -Buddha


See the key you hold in your hand's. That key is not physical, it's invisible. But it's the most important key you own, it's the key to your soul and heart. Only you have the ability to use it. Because no one else has the ability to unlock your vast potential that lays in your soul. But this will also require sacrifice and courage, for you will have to let go of the fear's that lay in your thought's, the shadow in your soul. 
You may be used to speaking and thinking upon negative thing's, afraid that you cant have a better life. 


But has 'living' that way really made your life better, or is it more of the same? My guess is more of the same! (I speak from experience though, were all in this together) 
Next time you step on your mat, dont focus on what you can or cant do. Just remember your vast potential is and how yoga allow's you to tap into that. Surrender to what is, not how you wished you were different and let go of comparison's. Silence the ego, (your lower self), just meditate on the moment. Dwell on your strength and beauty,(your higher self) and how far you've come. Because chances are, you have made much more progress than you give yourself credit for!
Be of no mind, letting go of analyzing and simply trust your intuition:
"Art reaches it's greatest peak when devoid of self consciousness. Freedom discover's man the moment he loses concern over what impression he is making or about to make."
Bruce Lee....Yup, be of no mind 

How true is this ?

"For a long time it had seemed to me that life was about to begin.....But there was always some obstacle in the way, something to be gotten through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, a debt to be paid.Then life would begin. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life." Alfred Souza


Find your greatest oppurtunities in great adversity.

Finding the warmth within

I was thinking today about the cold outside in this winter when sometimes all you want to do is stay inside all day and drink hot tea under a warm blanket. Does'nt that sound good right now? :)

Anyway, it also got me thinking about how symbolic this season is. It reminded me of how some people remain stuck in their past, like a 'tundra' of their live's. Frozen and stuck. They collect the frozen 'corpses' of their past regret's, failure's and fear's. It thus become's a graveyard of their toxic memories and they become resigned to dwelling there, saying 'this is as good as it get's, this is my lot in life .' Sad but very true.

Now Im not saying all this to depress you, but to make a point. That we all have a choice, to either remain where we are in our pain and denial or to let go. To find our greatness, both on and off our mat's; this is something that often happen's when we let our pain melt away, when our soul's get stirred up and we awaken in our beauty. We let go of result's or being 'good enough' and surrender to what is. Here is now, this moment that you can make a better choice in, the past is gone. So wich one would you like to live in?

Because sometime's you must be seperated from the very thing's you think you 'need' . The thing's your lower nature is so dependant upon to keep you in the shadow's, as you continue to enable those who hurt you. To keep you afraid of who and what you truly are. Which is someone wonderful and uniquely strong, full of compassion.

I speak from experience because the above story is also my own. I cant tell you what's right or wrong for you as an individual I can simply share that the spiritual and physical practice of yoga can transform you, inside and out. A large part of my healing process was and is yoga. 

Find your healing today and be reminded that there is beauty and light that you hold within. Express yourself on your mat, No one, indeed nothing can take that from you. The moment's you shine on the mat are your's and your's alone.

To unlock the the truth of who you are, the passion and strength that lies in your heart. You owe it to yourself and those around you. The world need's your love and compassion, your service to other's. The help you offer in the darkness. 

Do not be locked into the regret's of your past. Do not look back at what you cant change anyway. Beside's, your pain can be the catalyst that fuel's the furnace that purifies your soul. Like the tear's that wash your heart free of the toxic lies, those fear's and doubt's. 

I strongly encourage you to birth something beautiful in your soul this year, let your love and light go out to other's. Carpe Diem, this is your time!

May all your days be blessed.