Walk the line.......and live abundantly

I recently watched the movie about the life of Johnny Cash, who is truly an icon and legend considering he changed the world of music forever. In Walk the line he is desperately trying to land his first record deal. So he meets with his would-be producer with his band and they start to do a gospel song and for a brief minute, he seems impressed. But then he stops them, telling Johnny that hes heard that exact same song done the exact same way a hundred times before, adding that gospel music not profitable. So he asks to hear another song.
He then goes on to ask Johnny if he was hit by a truck and laying in the ditch dying, what would he be thinking of in his last moments, what song would he TRULY want to sing?
So of course, Johnny picks another song, lands the record deal and history is made.....This got me thinking though about some serious questions myself, about life and whats worth living for, and what i will look back upon at my lifes end. For one thing i hope i will look back in joy and peace, knowing that i lived the best life that i could've lived, not living a lie, or in fear.
I hope i will have poured out my potential into others, blessing them with all i can give. In my mind, potential withheld is potential wasted. I cant take my posessions with when i die, nor do i want my potential buried with me. Potential is merely a key for unlocking ourselves, meaning that we all hold talents and abilities deep within ourselves that need to be awakened, to be brought forth into the light. It is like the dam that harnesses the power of the river, the waters of the heart and soul.
As in yoga, we allow chi to flow through us and it enlivens the body and raises joy within the soul, like the same air we all breathe, so does this energy flow between us all, its like a refreshing river we all drink from in nourishing grace and humility. But were not just there to do yoga, improving ourselves and then leaving behind the transforming experience once we go back into the world.
Hopefully what happens on that mat goes with us, we become people that have used the key of yoga to unlock ourselves, healing in the process and being refined of impurities. So that with time and patience we learn to offer to others the fruits of our practice, using potential as a pathway to do so. For if  we are healed of emotional hurts and phsyical pain, we are then positioned to more effectively help those closest to us...and complete strangers.
I just remember that i started yoga as a way as self discovery and therapeutic healing, but its become so much more. Its become a way to learn more compassion and concern for others and many other things that are in short supply in this chaotic world.
Whether its a healing hand, a kind gesture, an email of praise and encouragement. We ALL have things to offer, somebody needs you in their life, they've been put in your path for a reason. What can you offer today?

A meditation on death

Accepting our own mortality is actually an important part of being alive. I dont see this as morbid or depressing at all. When you live out of an awareness of the temporal nature of life it becomes more precious.
Knowing that im going somewhere better when i die allows me to have a better perspective on life. Knowing that all things pass, no matter how hard they seem, that there is an end to them. That the pain we go through is like the passing winter storm, eventually spring comes and so does growth like the renewal of hope.
I also think grattitude and humility comes out of acknowledging our own mortality, thus life needs to be lived as an expression of those things. Meaning we live out of grattitude for the gift of life and all the blessings it offers, we offer up our lives to serve God and others in humility.
Im grateful i dont have to carry the burden of my fate, just as i dont have to carry the dead weight of knowing all that will happen in my life. Both of these represent something that has caused people  everywhere much suffering, the desire to control.
Losing this desire means we lose something that we really dont need anyway, surrendering to divine providence means were free to be ourselves. Control however can be like a snake around your neck, always constricting, never giving.
This in turn causes tension in ourselves and in our relations with others, causing pressure and pain.
To awaken to the possibility that our hearts can be free of this is a wonderful gift, i remember this as i awaken from sleep every morning, that i have a choice. The choice to walk in Gods grace and blessings, in the freedom of dying to myself. Because when i do this, i allow my heart to shine forth.
I shine when i have real moments of awakening through on my yoga mat, when i hurt and surrender myself to divine healing. Those moments of both joy and tragedy that are fully experienced. Experience becomes wisdom, leading to revelation of who i truly am.
These moments are found when i walk my edge, finding just how far my strength truly reaches through times of testing and full awareness of the flow of life in my spirit.
Its also realized when terrible things happen and my reaction to them, such as divorce. After a short but exhausting time of trying to control the situation, i simply let go, of my ex and everything else. I simply determined not to let someone else determine my fate, or my happiness. I have forgiven her while also refusing to carry the weight of her decisions. I let go of the situation and walked away in peace, i did this by dying to my desires, such as the need to control and know everything! This ultimately  led to joy because i know im not a failure.

What burdens are you carrying today and what will happen if you let them go?

Is trauma also our training?

 " You can never change the past . But by the grace of God, you can win the future. So remember those things which will help you forward, but forget those things which only hold you back" Richard C. Woodsome

You cant be pitiful and powerful at the same time. This is something that has kept me going when i was tempted to fall into self pity, remembering to not give into despair. I simply let the tears come when they need ed to and wash my soul in them. I once observed that standing in the warm rain was like a baptism in my own pain, the warmth of the spring rain can be refreshing because pain passes as the rain does. Then the sun comes, and with it rejoicing.
The bad things we go through can serve as oppurtunities for growth, they actually help us understand life better. To help us see what happens when we actually welcome what happens as life lessons. Not a pit to lose our faith in, but a way to go to the next level. The wounds we carry that are healed end up as scars upon our souls. Not as reminders of our victimhood, but of Gods faithfullness.
Trauma can become the means by wich we are prepared to do miraculous things, meaning greatness often comes out of tribulation. This is also the power of personal choice, what we do with our past often impacts our future in significant ways.
We should never give up on ourselves, this is a temptation ive faced many times, to surrender to despair. To use pain for a crutch and limp along through life. But thats not the way to live in abundance. Theres so much more in life if we look past our pain and into the future with hope.

The true value of risk

Those who are willing to risk find what lies just on the other side of fear.

Those who risk being vulnerable invite love into their lives. Those who risk loving have fuller lives.

Those who speak the truth risk being scorned by those who would rather live in complacency. But they have peace for doing the right thing.

Those who act in courage risk being labeled an outcast, but they find the truth in a world of lies.

Those who refuse believing others lies about them risk whats familiar for a better tomorrow. But they see more clearly outside their comfort zones.

Those who walk away from unhealthy relationships risk losing much, but abundance awaits them on the other side.

Those who try something new risk losing their old identity, but they may find who they truly are.

Those who take risks to succeed find the rewards on the other side of potential failure.

Those who never risk never know failure, pain, heartache, loss, personal tragedy. But they never know the opposite of those things either. Life becomes a prison of comfortable misery for them.

What risks are you willing to take today? And what will happen if you do.....or dont?

Every dies, not everyone truly lives...think  about it..

This aching cold (prose)

The autumn leaves have fallen and faded under withering snow. Just as loves warmth can sometimes

become frigid and my heart hath become scattered as dead leaves upon gusting wind.

'Tis the season of this loves decline, something i have long foreseen, yet not wished for.

So unbearable these empty words have become.

Words of promise, and praise that cannot bear the weight of your contempt. I cannot recall all thats

been lost to the devouring pain as desire is torn asunder from us.

All the cold of your empty words hath bled the the warmth from my heart.

Love has ended in ashes of impermanence.

But there is no sadness left for me, ive run out of tears for you. Finding a renewing freedom in sweet

abandon.

Theres too much hardness in your touch i remember, while tender things lay shriveled. softness for

you has left my gaze and my hands.

The power of transformation through dying to self

I think for many of us one of the biggest obstcles we face in life is what we hold onto that is limiting and unhealthy. Coming to a point where everything we believed about a marriage, a career, a belief system etc. is revealed to be misleading and/ or harmful can cause us to come apart and feel like our world is ending. I myself have felt the pain and dissapointment this causes, but ive learned not to run away from such ardous conditions, but to embrace them.
 Thats because ive known the irreplacable value that this can bring, a chance to learn more about myself and to expand and grow. Like finding a rare and beautiful flower that only grows in the worst conditions, so does life grant us such chances to see rare beauty within ourselves. If only we are willing to look past our pain will we have valuable and personal revelation. This is when we become connected with our inner wisdom.
 I see my life like a seed pod, the shell comes apart so something new to emerge, but only through death. Dying to my ambitions and desires, surrendering to what i thought my life was. When the empty shell is split open, then real beauty and light shines forth, like a diamond in the rough. Im learning to surrender what i thought my life is 'susposed' to be, so that i can shine. I observed the sunshine today as a reminder of renewal, a source of warmth in the frigid cold. This reminds me that spring seems so far off, but its coming!
 
  Im planting new seeds now so that i can enjoy the renewal of spring in my life, the refreshing that will come. The patience that yoga has taught me is quite relevant here, each time on my mat is a chance to enjoy the present AND to leave a better foundation for tomorrows practice. There is nothing phony in my practice, no room for my vain ambitions.  These things only serve to block our awareness of the moment, taking our focus off the breath and hindering concentration.
  Dying to expectations about my life and my practice opens up my heart to receive revival and redemption. My spiritual, emotional and physical 'houses' are all part of the same temple and need to be swept clean. The metaphorical garbage needs to go, even when its painful.
 So often we listen to the gurus and experts that change comes through problem based thinking, while this can help sometimes, i think we need TRUTH based thinking to enjoy life fully.

 Yet, truth based thinking can be much harder to embrace becauce it requires meekness on our parts, an admission that we are lost without wisdom and there is no real strength found in stubborness. This is why Christ said the truth shall set us free. He spoke of the kind of truth that was, and still is revolutionary. He is the ultimate example of meekness, being strength wrapped in humility. He did not come to be served, but to serve. Humbling Himself and walking among us, so that He could relate to our human frailty.
 When we simply surrender in meeknes, admitting that underneath our fascades we are truly lost then life truly begins. We lose our pride and self pity, finding strength in love and compassion. This is the kind of revolution that can change our inner worlds, and one anothers for the better. Yoga has helped me know the true sense of grounding, a place where i can be vulnerable and strong at the same time and that those two forces are actually in harmony, not in contention.
 I think thats why i am being led through a period of suffering and adversity right now, so that my pain can become a catalyst for change. Love often grows from pain when we have the discernment to know it. Bringing a love that can endure. To not only guide me, but so that i can pour it into others lives. So on that note, i offer these words to you in love and compassion. Im praying for all of you and all of you that are reading this have my undying grattitude. Agape, Brad

Carrying dead weight?

 " I know what i want and i know where im going. I dont need you telling you me who you want me to be, i can be what ive been created to be. This is my time, my carpe diem. I will find purpose and meaning in this short life ive been gifted with. I can no longer wait for your approval to do what i must do. Im not lost, i simply seek the truth for myself"

 When the word addiction is used people often think of things like drugs, alcohol, sex etc. But how many of us suffer from what i like to call, approval addiction? Were always looking to other people for the answers, so afraid that we might do or say something that they wont like. (Dont get me wrong, having integrity and being accountable for our actions to others is important.) What im talking about is a compulsive, almost obsessive attachment to others opinions. This is something that has caused me a great deal of pain and frustration in my life, because i always felt like i had to gain others approval by performing for them.

 This is why we must learn to simply let go of dead weight like this, attachments like this truly cause us misery and dissapointment. We must step forward in life, not in arrogance but boldness. There comes a point of surendering to divine providence for our lives, then clarity comes when its known that we dont have to perform in order to be loved and accepted.
 Thats what i love about yoga, were all accepted in the classroom exactly the way we are, but were all encouraged to go farther, beyond our limitations. Personally ive learned to be content with my practice while at the same time always playing my edge, always hungry for more. This is how breakthroughs are achieved, when strength meets peace, when endurance meets joy.

 This is where the dead weight of addictions can be left behind, where thay belong. Yoga, like life is a journey in wich the joy is found along the way, not in the destination. Find peace and joy today as you wander because not all who wander are lost.