"To see a thing uncolored by one's own personal preferences and desires is to see it in it's own pristine simplicity" ~Bruce Lee

A dear friend recently asked me how i came into the wisdom and insight that i now posess. The following is what I shared with her. But I think anyone could find this helpful and enlightening. I remember back  to when I first found yoga, God and myself again through it all. Or yoga found me as I wandered broken, alone and afraid. But awakening at last and open to what life held for me in the summer of 2007. As my old 'life' ended and i moved from 'why me?' to 'hell yes!' to a fuller life!


As the downward spiral continued. But you know something, it was a time of liberation for me...and believe me, it was long overdue!!! Is that bad? Calling divorce for example liberation? Not really, im not saying it out of spite. It was simply inevitable and freeing for me, not to be part of a parody if you will. Cant live half alive (at most) living a lie so yah, it was all good! And by that time, it was simply too much anyway, far too much...too much pain, too much regret, too many broken promises and vows, too many knives in my back, too many sleepless nights, soaked in my tears like a baptism of my pain. Too many thorns in my heart, feeling pain as a thousand needles swimming in my stomach. Too many moments of cursing her and the day I met her. And for how long could I participate in the insanity, her insanity? The price was pain consuming my soul..so I wanted it back , I wanted to live!! I wanted to be accepted, to love myself again, to be free of all the lies and bullshit cause I felt neck deep in it. To be secure in myself and happy, content. I just came to realize that I was on a very different path from her. And ironically enough, the closer I got to being finally at peace and feeling at one with spirit that I simply grew farther from her and from my former church! Wich doesnt mean I just gave up, cause she divorced me. But the point is I finally learned to not be so much obsessed with appearances, what others thought, what the church said and what she did...but to simply be broken open into newfound awareness.

"If you are not willing, you cannot open. Become willing and all possibility unfolds before you." ~Baron Baptiste

Yup, a new open willingness came to be through sober revelation and clarity of mind and purpose and it was refreshing far beyond word's...ya feel me? I found the beauty that lay within me, a new path. and I was feared and resented for it! I came to see how I was content to step out of my comfort zones(misery) and think outside the box.. and I came to see how threatend she was by it and how much she resented that!! I paid a heavy price for my self discovery, self love and joy in life...and it was actually totally worth it! I would'nt trade it for ANYTHING!! Just like the hell I went through shaped me into someone capable of writing this. Healing you and other's with my word's and my compassion. The long road is also the hardest and yet the most rewarding.

It can never be good if one does not stay true to themself and say enough is enough when it is. I had finally reached my breaking point in my marriage and my life..sometimes you need such a wake up call that you need to be shattered awake! To come to realize that it's not a punishment (as much as it hurt's) cause being broken test's and reveal's us to ourselve's in a way NOTHING else can! And we are never the same afterward's, changing, growing and expanding for the better. But it can be hard because one day or one moment you're living (happily or not) and then the life you're used to is gone! You find yourself on your knees and you look up...and suddenly, everything seem's to have changed. It feel's like being abducted in a way, to another place and time. But also safely carried through divine intervention to a better place, a better life.

As I was, before the breaking of my world. This is my destiny. Knowing fully it's not what your past did to you but what you do NOW that counts. When you simply, patiently let life unfold before you and surrender 'my way' you then see things as they really are, not as you wish they were. Thus becoming present to what you can change. Letting go of self limiting beliefs and what no longer serves you. Then you understand awakening. I call myself a peaceful warrior cause the battles on the inside, for peace, love and happiness. Not through the vanity of ego but through self realization.

But then I was finally at a place to question and find the answer's about my life, my core values, my belief's, my relationship's, faith, the meaning of life..I had finally arrived from denial into awakening, and I have'nt looked back! To find courage to inevitably face the difficult but liberating truth: that is ok to lose whats familiar cause something far better will come along. Its okay to let go of whats familiar cause we will find something thats worth truly holding onto. That its okay to hurt and dissapoint others if that means making peace with God and ourselves. At the end of the day you are the only one that will have to live forever with the choices you make, good or bad. That its okay to let go of things we cant even name sometimes.

And quite often though as I sit there on my yoga mat in quiet introspection I find a way to own and name my pain that's been there for year's, lingering. Then I open up my body more in my practice and the pain leaves on it's own. Because miraculously thing's are seen in their own simplicity and enlightenment comes when you stop chasing it, thus bringing healing and hope.

So I ask you beloved, where do you want to go in life today? Do you need to find courage to let go of dead weight and start your own personal revolution ? Have faith and never give up! I know you have it in you and Im right there with you....be blessed!

Namaste

Exploring whats possible

 Liquid bliss,sweatpouring as a thousand tear's releasing this angst and pain. Breathing, expanding radiating chi through every pore. The art of staying in the moment to overcome the fear's of my full potential. Sweet intensity of my body doing the 'impossible'.

Were all given chances in life to do more, to be more. To reach beyond our fear's, to see what others's cannot. I dont do yoga to simply be in better shape, for exercise or to boost my ego. It's not so much about the external, but the internal. I do yoga to reach far deep within to see past the self- doubt and the lies of others's that im not good enough. I am there to use my mind and my body in a way that most people would never have the courage to. To see how far my courage and vision can take me.

To shed all the pain and all the other bullshit that are simply illusion' s of my past, surrendering to what tomorrow offer's. To die is to live....

The answer is the mystery?

"The answer is never the answer. What's really interesting is the mystery. If you seek the mystery instead of the answer, you'll always be seeking. I've never seen anybody really find the answer -- they think they have, so they stop thinking. But the job is to seek mystery, evoke mystery, plant a garden in which strange plants grow and mysteries bloom. The need for mystery is greater than the need for an answer.” -Ken Kesey




Indeed. In order to grow, in ALL areas of your life you must not be stagnant, satisfied with answer's of other 's that never change, year after year...when people stop exploring they simply die inside. Sadly, we all know people like this 


So i invite you today...question everything that hold's you back today. But then dare to have faith and hope again. And believe me, im right there with you. Then you have a vision and passion to put it into action.


'Cause basically there's only two kind's of people, talker's and doer's. The talker's, yah you know them . all they do is talk and complain to you , never accomplishing much and want to drag you down too by telling you you cant achieve much of significance..this is out of fear and control.


Then there's the doer's those who know the simple yet profound truth: wisdom is simply taking action on what knowledge you already posess and being open to how life unfold's before them, seeing  life's mysteries without end for appreciation of them! They never waste time being satisfied or complaceent in their own knowledge either, 'cause they know life is simply meant to be lived in forward action, not fully understood.
If you think for a while im willing to bet that the people that made the most memorable impact on your life were doer's. So wich one will you be??

Letting go is part of the path to liberation

Theres comes a point in our life when you realize who matters, who never did, who won't anymore and who always wil. So don't worry about people from your past. There is a reason why they didn't make it to your future.....


Find peace and contentment in your life today. Dont sit around wishing harm on those who hurt you or revenge. Because ultimately you only       
hurt yourself, because you're giving someone power over you that they dont deserve. And were all part of the same experience on this planet. Meaning that you we all share the same energy, both good and bad. You reap what you sow.
If you sow anger,bitterness, resentment  and pain you will be stuck in that until you see the folly of your way's. I speak from experience! Of course you have a right to be bitter and pissed of indefinately, but why?? All your achieving is inviting negative, poisonous energy. This cut's you off from your source of love and peaceful energy. Your intuitive mind know's this is harmful, do you have the courage to listen to it?
Your energy will be blocked, your mind, body and soul will all suffer manifested in sickness, stress and anxiety. 
Bruce Lee once said that the fist is not a weapon against your opponent, but against yourself. Meaning that through self discipline you overcome greed, anger, seflishness etc. All product's of the ego that block your energy and trap you in fear. And all negativity is based in fear and ignorance, only to keep you trapped in the lie that your bad thought's and failure's define you.
You might think that your body is solid mass, but it's not. It's made out of cell's bound together. Comprised of molecules, comprised of atom's and by electron's. At it's most  basic but dynamic level, you are pure energy. Quantum physic's confirm's this. You are a spiritual being learning how to overcome the illusion's that you are seperated from your higher self, from your friend's and family. Even from those who hurt you. We all effect each other on a deeper, metaphysical level, whether we know it or not! 
Next time you step onto your yoga mat know that you can cultivate a deeper awareness of the truth about yourself and how your practice of well being through self awareness can carry into all aspect's of your life. The ego may try to keep you off your mat, that's because it want's to hide from the light of your awareness that can come out through your practice that's rooted in patience and well being.
Yoga is a tool to help you cut to the root of your mind, to get past the illusion's of your lower self as you find truth and peace. 
God help's those who help's themselve's. You are the one you've been waiting for because only you can step out in faith into your own journey, an inward and outward  journey into power.......

What's your focus?

"All that we are is the result of what we have thought. If a man speaks or acts with an evil thought, pain follows him. If a man speaks or acts with a pure thought, happiness follows him, like a shadow that never leaves him." -Buddha


See the key you hold in your hand's. That key is not physical, it's invisible. But it's the most important key you own, it's the key to your soul and heart. Only you have the ability to use it. Because no one else has the ability to unlock your vast potential that lays in your soul. But this will also require sacrifice and courage, for you will have to let go of the fear's that lay in your thought's, the shadow in your soul. 
You may be used to speaking and thinking upon negative thing's, afraid that you cant have a better life. 


But has 'living' that way really made your life better, or is it more of the same? My guess is more of the same! (I speak from experience though, were all in this together) 
Next time you step on your mat, dont focus on what you can or cant do. Just remember your vast potential is and how yoga allow's you to tap into that. Surrender to what is, not how you wished you were different and let go of comparison's. Silence the ego, (your lower self), just meditate on the moment. Dwell on your strength and beauty,(your higher self) and how far you've come. Because chances are, you have made much more progress than you give yourself credit for!
Be of no mind, letting go of analyzing and simply trust your intuition:
"Art reaches it's greatest peak when devoid of self consciousness. Freedom discover's man the moment he loses concern over what impression he is making or about to make."
Bruce Lee....Yup, be of no mind 

How true is this ?

"For a long time it had seemed to me that life was about to begin.....But there was always some obstacle in the way, something to be gotten through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, a debt to be paid.Then life would begin. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life." Alfred Souza


Find your greatest oppurtunities in great adversity.

Finding the warmth within

I was thinking today about the cold outside in this winter when sometimes all you want to do is stay inside all day and drink hot tea under a warm blanket. Does'nt that sound good right now? :)

Anyway, it also got me thinking about how symbolic this season is. It reminded me of how some people remain stuck in their past, like a 'tundra' of their live's. Frozen and stuck. They collect the frozen 'corpses' of their past regret's, failure's and fear's. It thus become's a graveyard of their toxic memories and they become resigned to dwelling there, saying 'this is as good as it get's, this is my lot in life .' Sad but very true.

Now Im not saying all this to depress you, but to make a point. That we all have a choice, to either remain where we are in our pain and denial or to let go. To find our greatness, both on and off our mat's; this is something that often happen's when we let our pain melt away, when our soul's get stirred up and we awaken in our beauty. We let go of result's or being 'good enough' and surrender to what is. Here is now, this moment that you can make a better choice in, the past is gone. So wich one would you like to live in?

Because sometime's you must be seperated from the very thing's you think you 'need' . The thing's your lower nature is so dependant upon to keep you in the shadow's, as you continue to enable those who hurt you. To keep you afraid of who and what you truly are. Which is someone wonderful and uniquely strong, full of compassion.

I speak from experience because the above story is also my own. I cant tell you what's right or wrong for you as an individual I can simply share that the spiritual and physical practice of yoga can transform you, inside and out. A large part of my healing process was and is yoga. 

Find your healing today and be reminded that there is beauty and light that you hold within. Express yourself on your mat, No one, indeed nothing can take that from you. The moment's you shine on the mat are your's and your's alone.

To unlock the the truth of who you are, the passion and strength that lies in your heart. You owe it to yourself and those around you. The world need's your love and compassion, your service to other's. The help you offer in the darkness. 

Do not be locked into the regret's of your past. Do not look back at what you cant change anyway. Beside's, your pain can be the catalyst that fuel's the furnace that purifies your soul. Like the tear's that wash your heart free of the toxic lies, those fear's and doubt's. 

I strongly encourage you to birth something beautiful in your soul this year, let your love and light go out to other's. Carpe Diem, this is your time!

May all your days be blessed. 

What's your vision this new year?

"The weak are blind; champions visualize their dreams and goals and stop at nothing to see them as a reality." -Samy I.


This can be a very interesting time of year,  a time for reflection, renewal and growth. The energy in winter is very dense, but it also points us toward's the upcoming spring and the change's that come with that. To remind us that we all have season's of rest and great change.


And like the sun, we are all meant to shine. So  I feel compelled to remind you today that you need to shine, dont hold it inside of you, dont think you're not good enough, that you have nothing to offer. YOU are so valuable, you are so loved, you are a beautiful creation, you are a vibrant soul! 


This is your time to seize the day and go find what wonderful thing's beckon you, whether it's around the next corner or across the country. 
May you know how blessed you are beloved friend's. May it be that you find beauty in the everyday, that you offer kindness and love to other's, that you create thing's of wonder from honest self expression.


But it's so crucial that you set you vision upon the right thing's, the positive and not the negative. Upon the light and not the dark, upon the truth about yourself and not the lies other's have told you. Because at the end of the day, you will have to live with the choices you made and no one else! Set you eyes on your bliss and your dream's. Never, ever give up hope.


And know for certain that you are here to share your greatness and your strength, your love and your courage. Whatever bad thing's you have been through dont disqualify you, in fact  they have prepared you for this new year so you can do more and be more. Offer up your heart and your talent's to other's. You are needed and wanted.


My wish is that you have a wonderful and fulfilled year.

Today , live like you mean it and love till you feel it. It's all that we need in our live's

Rules to live by........

Life is SHORT...so BREAK the rules, FORGIVE quickly, KISS slowly, LOVE truly, LAUGH uncontrollably and never REGRET anything that once made you smile........

Know yourself and be yourself

All my life I had been looking for something, and everywhere I turned someone tried to tell me what it was.I accepted their answers too, they were often in contradiction and self-contradictory. I was naïve. I was looking for myself and asking everyone questions which only I can answer.It took me a long time and much pain to achieve a realization everyone else appears to have been born with:that I am nobody but myself.

Just be yourself, because who you are and what you are becoming is far more important than you can fully understand.

From Baron Baptiste

The Two Wolves: One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people. 
He said, 'My son, the battle is between two 'wolves' inside us all. 

One is Evil. It is anger, fear, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, self doubt, feeling inferior, lies, false pride, superiority, arrogance, and excessive ego. 

The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, potential, confidence, commitment, inner knowing, trust, and faith. 

' 
The grand son thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather: 
'Which wolf wins?' 
The old Cherokee simply replied, 'The one you feed.'

Awareness is boundless

"Awareness has no frontier; it is a giving of your whole being, without exclusion. .....and awareness, which is total and excludes nothing, are states of mind that can be understood only by objective, non prejudiced observation."
Bruce Lee

You find truth when you have the patience to simply sit still and observe. In your breath, in your body, in the beauty of the simple pleasures of life. Learn to observe and accept thing's as they are, good or bad, light or dark
Knowing there are no boundaries between yourself and other's, between your spirit and God's. That everything is simply connected and we are all simply human. And that is a very good thing to be! Destined to realize our full potential, if we are objective about ourselves and learn first and foremost to accept ourselve's this is often the best foundation for our personal growth.
To not be happy with stagnation but to lovingly guide ourselve's into fullness and contentment, knowing very often that your best teacher can be yourself! And giving yourself permission to trust in your own wisdom, your own intuition. This is a form of honest self expression and has a way of bringing out the best in us. And when we give generously to ourselve's, we are in a place to give to other's.
An awareness that we all have a unique expression of the soul to bring forth and that we are powerful beyond word's. Not the power to hurt, but to love and to inspire other's.
And dont be distressed if life has brought you 'bad' thing's lately. Choose to have awareness of what you can learn from it. this is often life's way of waking us up to live more fully free of attachement's. Often when we  think something 'bad' happened it's God's way of releasing us from the very attachment's that made us miserable to begin with. It also serves to expand our awareness.
Think about it....

Accept there's thing's you just cant change....

"Some things in life just don't work out. No matter how bad you want it, or how bad you work towards it, it just doesn't work the way you want it to. But excepting this and realizing that trying to hold on to what can't be, only inhibits what could be, and will make your life that much better. Don't blame yourself for other peoples actions and don't hold grudges, only hold lessons."- Travis Hays


Life is sooo much more peaceful when we stop trying to force life to go 'our way' and instead focus on letting the best in life come to us. Ironically enough, when you stop impatiently searching for what you want is when you often find what you truly need.

A personal letter to a friend...reflecting my deeper thoughts on yoga and life

I was thinking about what you said RE: meeting  people and the up's and down's of life, about your odvious dissapointment and the shallow thing's people say and do. I just know from my own experience in life, love
and yoga so much pain is caused 'cause we try to make thing's happen instead of letting life unfold to us organically in time.

Im not trying to judge you, or arrogantly assume too much about you. Beside's, I've done the same thing sooo many times's!

The point is: i've been doin' yoga for over two year's and so much i got in own way! HOW?  I tried to force my body into different poses and saw it as some kind of competition....but then.. one day i learned to actually let go ,in my mind, in my body and soul.
This led to a personal epiphiny of self realization and self empowerment.Then, my body opened naturally on it's own, in it's own time..when i got my ego out of the way, so many poses became near effortless. I also made huge gains in physical and mental endurance.

Life is like that too, often when we stop trying so hard, let go and let God. Then, good thing's happen. Sometime's the best chance's in life come when were just patiently letting life unfold to us...

Dont know what's gonna happen, and that's ok.When we let go of our desire's they often come to pass.
I just know there's a reason for everything in life. And we cross path's with people for a reason.
think about it....Im just wanted to share what was on my heart, because like my blog, i enjoy sharing what's significant to me..and trust start's somewhere. (I said i was bold. ha ha)


When we try to force the rose to open before it's time we destroy it's beauty and full potential, thus we suffer when we treat our soul's and the soul's of other's the same way...
The mountain alway's bring's a better perspective than the valley, to bring the refereshing of new vision.

Bringing clarity..



Hope this was helpful and encouraging..Brad

So often were afraid to let the past die but...life offers us new chances. Are we willing to put life into that chance? To fully live again...

Miracles

We all an ability to find what is truly good for us in life, to truly know what will serve us to improve our quality of lives. To find the path of  truth and freedom in our lives. But the path often takes us through the difficult valley of pain and tribulation.

Because the valley is a catalyst for the process of growth and transformation, where the death of self and all its hindering illusions lead us to the revelation of grace and newness of life.

Just as a shell breaks open to allow the seed within to grow up through the hard soil under the life giving sun. This little miracle reminds us that pain seems no less wondrous than joy for they both seem to spring from the same place within the soul as both come from the trials of life. They are opposites yet one cannot exist without the other reminding us to wait through the long winters of pain until the joy of spring comes.
As we learn to accept the passing weather so do we learn that the heart has different seasons of growth and decay. To learn to welcome the miracle of healing when it does come, even in the form of a bitter potion for the soul that cleanses and brings a brighter tomorrow.
To lead us away from choosing hurt and self destruction, to show us that we are all a miracle child of God. To show us that we hope not in vain for a way through our hurt that is so often self-imposed, but that we can have so much more than we dreamed possible.
What do you seek, strive and hope for today? Whatever it may be, it lies within your grasp. Never, ever give up!

Lamentation of silent suffering (prose)

See this soft memory of nigh forgotten pain written forever upon the ghost of my childhood, somehow comes so clearly into focus for me now.
From a close circle of family we find common belonging, but why this writhing discontent that seems to carry such dreaded weight?
Remembrance of what we lost in years gone by, simple pleasures we shared together, scattered upon the rocks of bittersweet tension.
Blood of my blood, flesh of my flesh. How this nail deepens upon the flesh of my soul to see you in bleeding distress.
Like i can feel you twisting on a tourniquet of regret, feeling too much loss and empty time gone by. Longing to regain all that was stolen from you.
I wish i could eat this black cancer of past that holds you down, like this collective hurt we all share, to heal the wounds of yesterday.
To be the hurt, the pain, the agony for you beloved, to bleed open for you, if only that would set you free.
So i see the burning pages turn to grey ashes as my past dies to me, the dreams that have died so i can birth new ones within my soul.
This cathartic cleansing i want to share with all of you, for us to be whole once again. To find all that we lost, i still hope for that.
To see joy return unto you, to see this thieving misery wither and die.
To see its hold over you decay and turn to dust, to give birth to a new dream within your soul, a dream of love, not of pain.
Dreams that can lead you to the gates of eternity,
Trust in what God wants to give you; dreams of a better place beloved, where every tear will  be wiped from our eyes and we will never thirst again.
Where nothing can stifle your voice,where our collective hurt is a distant memory and where families are at last whole again.

Real moments

We all have experiences that serve to define our lives and leave unmistakable impressions with us forever.

These are moments that are aften not loud and shouted from the proverbial rooftops. They are the quiet moments of comfort, compassion and self discovery.
Breathe deeply sitting upon your yoga mat an take it all in. Savor every moment and feel connected to who you truly are. Know the truth and beauty of that moment and know no one can take it from you. To see past the illusions of life that pile upon us stress and pain. Yet also find meaning and comfort in both our bliss and our suffering.
To have harmony in our mind and bodies, these cherished moments upon the mat of connection to our cores, our deepest selves. These are the real moments that make life worth truly living.
Like mana from heaven, they are to be found if we are willing to slow down and look for them.
To know the wonder of the sunrise, to have the love of our families on christmas eve, to hear the birds singing in the depths of the woods, to feel the touch of someone close to you. Moments when we when we connect to others, God and ourselves.
Moments that are true, wonderful and real....these moments are awaiting us every day if we are willing are to look . To look beyond the veil of the mundane and find the extrordinary. So as you go on with life be aware that every moment has the potential to change your life for the better.........

Walk the line.......and live abundantly

I recently watched the movie about the life of Johnny Cash, who is truly an icon and legend considering he changed the world of music forever. In Walk the line he is desperately trying to land his first record deal. So he meets with his would-be producer with his band and they start to do a gospel song and for a brief minute, he seems impressed. But then he stops them, telling Johnny that hes heard that exact same song done the exact same way a hundred times before, adding that gospel music not profitable. So he asks to hear another song.
He then goes on to ask Johnny if he was hit by a truck and laying in the ditch dying, what would he be thinking of in his last moments, what song would he TRULY want to sing?
So of course, Johnny picks another song, lands the record deal and history is made.....This got me thinking though about some serious questions myself, about life and whats worth living for, and what i will look back upon at my lifes end. For one thing i hope i will look back in joy and peace, knowing that i lived the best life that i could've lived, not living a lie, or in fear.
I hope i will have poured out my potential into others, blessing them with all i can give. In my mind, potential withheld is potential wasted. I cant take my posessions with when i die, nor do i want my potential buried with me. Potential is merely a key for unlocking ourselves, meaning that we all hold talents and abilities deep within ourselves that need to be awakened, to be brought forth into the light. It is like the dam that harnesses the power of the river, the waters of the heart and soul.
As in yoga, we allow chi to flow through us and it enlivens the body and raises joy within the soul, like the same air we all breathe, so does this energy flow between us all, its like a refreshing river we all drink from in nourishing grace and humility. But were not just there to do yoga, improving ourselves and then leaving behind the transforming experience once we go back into the world.
Hopefully what happens on that mat goes with us, we become people that have used the key of yoga to unlock ourselves, healing in the process and being refined of impurities. So that with time and patience we learn to offer to others the fruits of our practice, using potential as a pathway to do so. For if  we are healed of emotional hurts and phsyical pain, we are then positioned to more effectively help those closest to us...and complete strangers.
I just remember that i started yoga as a way as self discovery and therapeutic healing, but its become so much more. Its become a way to learn more compassion and concern for others and many other things that are in short supply in this chaotic world.
Whether its a healing hand, a kind gesture, an email of praise and encouragement. We ALL have things to offer, somebody needs you in their life, they've been put in your path for a reason. What can you offer today?