I think for many of us one of the biggest obstcles we face in life is what we hold onto that is limiting and unhealthy. Coming to a point where everything we believed about a marriage, a career, a belief system etc. is revealed to be misleading and/ or harmful can cause us to come apart and feel like our world is ending. I myself have felt the pain and dissapointment this causes, but ive learned not to run away from such ardous conditions, but to embrace them.
Thats because ive known the irreplacable value that this can bring, a chance to learn more about myself and to expand and grow. Like finding a rare and beautiful flower that only grows in the worst conditions, so does life grant us such chances to see rare beauty within ourselves. If only we are willing to look past our pain will we have valuable and personal revelation. This is when we become connected with our inner wisdom.
I see my life like a seed pod, the shell comes apart so something new to emerge, but only through death. Dying to my ambitions and desires, surrendering to what i thought my life was. When the empty shell is split open, then real beauty and light shines forth, like a diamond in the rough. Im learning to surrender what i thought my life is 'susposed' to be, so that i can shine. I observed the sunshine today as a reminder of renewal, a source of warmth in the frigid cold. This reminds me that spring seems so far off, but its coming!
Im planting new seeds now so that i can enjoy the renewal of spring in my life, the refreshing that will come. The patience that yoga has taught me is quite relevant here, each time on my mat is a chance to enjoy the present AND to leave a better foundation for tomorrows practice. There is nothing phony in my practice, no room for my vain ambitions. These things only serve to block our awareness of the moment, taking our focus off the breath and hindering concentration.
Dying to expectations about my life and my practice opens up my heart to receive revival and redemption. My spiritual, emotional and physical 'houses' are all part of the same temple and need to be swept clean. The metaphorical garbage needs to go, even when its painful.
So often we listen to the gurus and experts that change comes through problem based thinking, while this can help sometimes, i think we need TRUTH based thinking to enjoy life fully.
Yet, truth based thinking can be much harder to embrace becauce it requires meekness on our parts, an admission that we are lost without wisdom and there is no real strength found in stubborness. This is why Christ said the truth shall set us free. He spoke of the kind of truth that was, and still is revolutionary. He is the ultimate example of meekness, being strength wrapped in humility. He did not come to be served, but to serve. Humbling Himself and walking among us, so that He could relate to our human frailty.
When we simply surrender in meeknes, admitting that underneath our fascades we are truly lost then life truly begins. We lose our pride and self pity, finding strength in love and compassion. This is the kind of revolution that can change our inner worlds, and one anothers for the better. Yoga has helped me know the true sense of grounding, a place where i can be vulnerable and strong at the same time and that those two forces are actually in harmony, not in contention.
I think thats why i am being led through a period of suffering and adversity right now, so that my pain can become a catalyst for change. Love often grows from pain when we have the discernment to know it. Bringing a love that can endure. To not only guide me, but so that i can pour it into others lives. So on that note, i offer these words to you in love and compassion. Im praying for all of you and all of you that are reading this have my undying grattitude. Agape, Brad
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